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Q. I think my husband is cheating on me – can you help?

I think my husband is cheating on me but I am not 100 percent sure.  For months now his behaviour has completely changed towards me.  Before we were what I would describe as best friends and lovers.  Naturally, it’s not always a bed of roses but lately he has been cold and distant.

His sense of humour used to be infectious but these past few months I’m lucky to see a smile on his face.

He works hard and has his own business but he’s always made time for me.  Unfortunately (or fortunately) as the case may be we don’t have any children.  I had tests some years ago and there is no reason why I shouldn’t become pregnant.  My husband won’t have tests and used to say he was happy with just us.  In fairness it hasn’t worried me that we don’t have kids as we are still young and have plenty of time left.

Sounds a bit clichéd I know, but he is doing all the things people associate with an affair.  He keeps his mobile on silent, which he never did before. He took up a new hobby recently (fishing) that in the 8 years I have known him is not something he has shown an interest in. Yet now, he is out overnight twice a week fishing! He never brings any fish home either.  At 30 it seems a bit odd to me. If I phone him when he is out he never answers.  He says that the phone is on silent when he is fishing because the noise puts the fish off.  The fact that it is on silent in the home as well he puts down to forgetting to adjust the volume.  Since he has his own business I pointed out that he could easily be missing business calls. He told me not to worry, the business is fine.

His behaviour as far as I am concerned is not what I am used to.  I may be wrong but I have to know. It’s driving me mad.  Can you help?

L.W., Aberdeen

Response from Aberdeen Polygraph Examiner

The significant part of your question is “I think” my husband is cheating on me. Suspicion erodes trust so the sooner you learn the truth the better.

However, there are other reasons that your husband may have changed his behaviour.  For example, you say he won’t have fertility tests.  You don’t say whether you argued about this.  Is your desire to have children stronger than his? Irrespective of him telling you that he is happy with just you, do you know what his feelings really are?

The silent phone issue is a bit suspicious since a mobile phone ringing is unlikely to frighten the fish away unless he is fishing on a boat and the phone is on the deck.

It may be that he is depressed about something especially since he has lost his sense of humour and is distant.  Equally it could be that he is having an affair.

So in answer to your question, yes we can help. At the end of the lie detector test you will cease to think “my husband is cheating on me” because you will know one way or the other.

My suggestion is that you call our free helpline on 0800 368 8277 to discuss the best way to get your husband to agree to a lie detector test.   You can discuss your issue with our friendly customer service staff safe in the knowledge that any conversation you have will remain confidential. Let them know you have received a response from the Polygraph Examiner in Aberdeen.

I look forward to meeting your husband in the near future.